Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 It’s time to accept that you are well past your peak and just try to enjoy the steady descent into old age and irrelevance. Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 You shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch, ...

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The kind-hearted and generous folk of the Eastern Suburbs are hereby advised that all charitable fundraising activities must cease forthwith. Consequently, residents are no longer permitted to organise, or donate to, cha...

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The Unreliable Guide almost got into a physical fight last week, and we’re still not quite sure how it happened. In the space of ten seconds, the world transformed from typical commuter tedium to Mad Max. He drove like...

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As COVID Ambassador, Pearl is all too aware of the plethora of middle class issues that have arisen from Australia’s isolation from the rest of the world, and I am saddened to hear that ‘gender disappointment’ is o...

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Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Mutual blackhead management is the epitome of a symbiotic relationship and should be embraced by all couples. Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Put all of your eggs in one basket, because there will always be som...

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Randwick City residents are being encouraged to adopt the entire council following the enormous success of the council’s innovative ‘Adopt a Drain’ initiative, which asked ratepayers to care for a public facility t...

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Wait… what? Did you actually take a second to read this? Are you still here? In which case, congratulations, you may well have an attention span way above average. Studies suggest that our addiction to technology has s...

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Pearl received a phone call from God last week. There I was, recumbent on my couch, doped up on Valium and red wine, binge-watching Unit One on SBS when the Big Lady (and I don’t mean Gina Rinehart) calls, directing me...

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Taurus Apr 21-May 21 Earn some good karma by flicking a few bucks to a cancer charity like The Leukaemia Foundation or Dreams2Live4. Gemini May 22-Jun 21 Buy a teddy bear to cuddle at night. They’ve got ones that can p...

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Darkness enveloped the land. A depressing grey pall hung heavily over the land and fomented despicable violence which entrenched anger, frustration, despair and fear in those victimised by birth. Toxic masculinity leeche...

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