There’s been a lot of talk about getting back to normal, but what is ‘normal’? So far, 2020 has been like an episode of Black Mirror, directed by David Lynch, but was 2019 really normal? The dictionary defin...

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With a second wave of The Great Toilet Roll Shortage of 2020 waiting to engulf New South Wales, Pearl has appointed herself ‘COVID-19 Ambassador’, hoping to attract the same $345,000 pay packet offered to Scott Cam b...

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Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Why are you spending so much money on self-help when you actually need a trained professional to help you? Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 You’re at the peak of your ploughing abilities, so be sure to let as man...

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The desperately poor rates of literacy among residents of the Eastern Suburbs are being blamed for the alarmingly high number of COVID-19 cases in the region. The suburb of Waverley recorded the most cases in all of Sydn...

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So far, 2020 can be summed up with one word: uncertainty. The dictionary defines uncertainty as something that cannot be relied on or fully known, where outcomes are not definite. Sound familiar? First of all, we had the...

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GENTRIFICATION Dear Pearl – Being so in touch with local ‘goings on’, I’m sure you would have heard about Bronte Surf Life Saving Club’s plans to take over a big chunk of the park and privatise it for their...

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Gemini May 22-Jun 21 As Australia comes out of lockdown, you’ll look back on all the spare time you wasted and regret it for the rest of your life. Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Spending money you don’t have to buy things you...

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The famous sands of Bondi Beach will tremble with the thunder of horses’ hooves as jousting replaces professional sports during the COVID-19 restrictions. The medieval sport will make its long-awaited comeback due to i...

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If you look up synonyms of the word ‘distance’ you get some rather bleak results: coldness, aloofness, detachment, reserve, remoteness, void. No wonder going to Woolies is about as much fun as being invited to a part...

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While Australians were focussed solely on The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020 (aka COVID-19), little did we know that the prime minister was covertly “committing Australia to God”. I am not against ScoMo making a...

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