Furious Four-Wheel Fun Comes to Sydney’s East

By Kieran Blake on March 6, 2018 in Satire

Buckle up and hold on tight! by Leyland Motors.

Strap yourselves in folks, SkoolDrop Demolition Derby™ is set to heat up the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney.
Buckle up and hold on tight for the greatest event in the history of international motorsport.
Two action-packed hours of high octane, no holds barred, automotive carnage featuring some of the most ruthless drivers on the planet – mums in SUVs.
Witness hair-raising, blood-curdling driving, five days a week (during school terms), as mums battle peak hour traffic to drop their precious little treasures to school and collect them again in the afternoon.
Marvel at the merciless mothers as they manoeuvre their spotless SUVs into pole position at the school gates.
Resplendent in activewear and make-up, competitors will wrestle their wagons through choked suburban roads while collecting points for proximity to school gates, aggression, double parking, disruption to traffic flow and carbon pollution, as well as assertiveness and their Machiavellian approach to protecting their offspring, before popping off to the shops and their morning wellness class.
Watch the action live from the (dis)comfort of your own vehicle or follow the mind-blowing thrills and spills via the daily live-stream or on the SkoolDrop™ App, streaming from 8-9am, and then again from 3-4pm.
Endless excitement, five days a week! More incessant than the BBL, more violent than the UFC.
Tune in again on Saturday mornings for the representative fixtures, SkoolSport Drop Off™. This time, it’s “Kate Against Kate”™ and “Late Against Late”™ as frantic SUVs disgorge future stars wielding cricket bats, hockey sticks, Coolmax uniforms and an entirely unjustified sense of self-entitlement.
Download and fire up for the resumption of the rivalry between the true superstars of modern day motorsports. Watch undefeated and undisputed SkoolDrop™ world champion, MuthaTrucka, do battle with nemesis BullBarb and rookie kindergarten mum Cindy SideSwipe.
Follow your favourite driver throughout the school year.
Will RageRover survive the onslaught from Ravenous4, the canny veteran who chided RageRover last year for refusing to help in the school canteen?
Can Ravenous4 utilise her home-ground advantage and collect more points by virtue of the fact that she lives within 500 metres of her child’s school?
Will drivers regret last year’s decision to outlaw dodgem-car style padding on their vehicles, remarking, “Why do you think we bought an SUV, to go camping?”
Ladies and gentlemen, this ain’t no Tokyo Drift, and it ain’t no Bathurst 1000; this is unbridled aggression and vehicular vitriol, right here on our very own suburban streets.
Don’t miss a moment of the action! SkoolDrop Demolition Derby™ is a registered trademark of Crass Entertainment. For sponsorship and advertising enquiries, as well as a full list of official SkoolDrop™ merchandise, go to www.crassentertainment.com.au/skooldrop.