Teenagers And Sex

By Matty Silver, Sex Therapist on March 27, 2014 in Other

In this day and age, when so much information is freely available, it’s amazing that most teenagers seem to know very little about sex. They are mostly receiving their sex education from the Internet, television, magazines and their friends – not from their schools.

Recent surveys have found that “basic sex and sexual health education in Australian schools is inconsistent and encumbered by different curriculum guidelines across states and territories”. Students who were surveyed said they were mainly told how not to get pregnant, but the most important part missing from their sex education was learning about sex and pleasure, and diverse sexualities.

Most young people in years 11 and 12 are sexually active and the rate of sexually transmitted infections is on the rise. Young people have very little knowledge about common STIs like chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea and genital warts. They also often do not feel comfortable seeing their GP for testing or treatment.

Chlamydia is the most common infection among young people. It is known as a ‘silent’ disease because the majority of infected people have no symptoms, but untreated it can result in infertility. It is passed on by unprotected sex and affects both males and females.

It is also alarming is that many teenagers believe that giving or receiving oral sex is not ‘real sex’, and most young people seem to be unaware that doing so can easily give them an STI.

In the Netherlands, a liberal attitude towards sex education seems to be paying off. Dutch sex education emerges from an understanding that young people are curious about sexuality and have a right to accurate and comprehensive information. Educational materials are characterised by clear, direct, age-appropriate language and attractive designs. The leading message is: “If you are going to have sex, do it safely.”

The Dutch philosophy is a simple one. Young people have the right to adequate sex education so that they can make well-informed choices in sexuality and relationships.

Interestingly, the Netherlands has the lowest rate of teenage pregnancy in the Western world and the average age for the first experience of sexual intercourse is one year older than in Britain.

The average age for the onset of puberty has been dropping and there is a need for earlier sex education. We should not wait until secondary schooling. It would be great if parents could sit down with their children and discuss sex-related issues, but ninety per cent of parents are ill-equipped to do that – they feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and they don’t really have the appropriate knowledge. Things have changed a lot since they were young.

Children and teenagers should get age-appropriate information as part of their school curriculum. As a parent, it is advisable to have back-up information ready to give them, and to educate yourself. Think of sex education as an ongoing project – when children know that they can talk to their parents about issues that are important to them, they will.

There are a couple of helpful books at the Family Planning NSW website including ‘500+ Questions Kids Have About Sex’ by Lyndall Caldwell and ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ by Robie Harris & Michael Emberley. And finally, ‘The Talk’ by Melbourne comedian Nelly Thomas is an excellent DVD for parents and their older teenage children. You will all enjoy this video!