Eastern Suburbs Dog Owners Appeal to UNHCR

By Kieran Blake on July 12, 2016 in Satire

Eastern Suburbs dog owners and their canine companions have personally lodged a desperate appeal with the UNHCR in a bid to end the mistreatment and discrimination they are forced to suffer on a daily basis.

“We need to put an end to the injustice – now,” argued a spokesperson for the group, who spoke under condition of anonymity.

“Dogs and their owners are voiceless victims in a society that prides itself on principles of egalitarianism and freedom. The tales of our members indicate that not everyone in this country enjoys this supposed freedom.”

The report, which found its way to the UN headquarters in Geneva, includes specific accounts of abuse suffered by group members, some of which were relayed by the spokesperson.

“One hard working young professional was exercising his beautiful, healthy whippets near the children’s playground at Clovelly Beach when the father of a young boy had the nerve to suggest he take the dogs to the nearby dog park, a few minutes walk away,” the spokesperson said.

Owners have also been subjected to verbal abuse.

One owner was basking in the glory of watching her pooch run free on a fine autumn day while she waited patiently in line at The Ponds Kiosk in Centennial Park when she was left traumatised after being told to “put that thing on a leash”.

There is also the harrowing story of the owner of a huskie enjoying the coastal walk on Boxing Day who overheard a shirtless and bearded man mutter “that doesn’t belong here” and “that the dog should go back to where it came from”.

Owners and their precious pets also suffer the indignity of barriers and fences, as well as offensive signage designed to bar them from certain areas. The group cited the Burrows Park off-leash dog area at Clovelly as one clear example of the terrible conditions they must tolerate.

“We and our precious pets are forced to endure the inhumane conditions of a dog park surrounded by landscaped gardens and endless views of the Pacific Ocean,” the spokesperson said.

Then there is the attendant stigma of dirtiness for owners forced to carry plastic bags every time they leave the house.

Worse still, claimed the spokesperson, is the policy requiring dogs to wear name tags around their neck, implying the animals are the possession of their owners.

“Someone even asked me if I was illiterate because I chose to exercise my dog directly beneath a sign saying ‘Dogs Prohibited’,” explained one of the plaintiffs.

Such is the persecution of this defenseless group that they have hired advocates, called ‘walkers’, to escort and protect their loved ones. These walkers can often be seen protecting a score of dogs on numerous leashes at parks throughout the Eastern Beaches area.

“We have also received enormous support from another group of dog friendly advocates known as ‘Council Rangers’,” explained the spokesperson. “They refuse to order us from beaches, rock pools, playgrounds and sporting fields when other heartless Eastern Suburbs residents ask us to remove our dogs from these areas.

“Without their support, our freedom would not be possible.”

The UNHCR only recently received the appeal and has yet to comment on its contents.