Who is Really Controlling your Freedom?

By Pearl Bullivant on August 18, 2021 in Satire

Totally missing the point. Ann Teevackser

This month, Pearl’s sentiments and concerns go out to the disparate and disorientated mob of people who attended the anti-COVID lockdown rally in July.
As self-appointed COVID Ambassador (Mr PM, I’m still waiting on your call to make it official), Pearl is not here to wield a big stick or chastise those people who took time out of their hectic schedules of anti-vaccine propaganda promotion and conspiracy theory spreading to venture into the wilds of ‘the big smoke’ to reclaim their ‘freedom’ from sensible public health measures that benefit the entire state. Instead, in true Eastern Suburbs spirit, I’m here to inform the disenchanted and lead them on the path to true enlightenment.

Pearl would like to see their misplaced ardour directed to more worthy issues and causes. 3,500 angry people marching through the city centre wield an enormous karmic force and it is painful to watch people become tired and emotional to the point of hitting horses over mask wearing rules.

Pearl feels it is her duty not to patronise or educate, but to provide these people with sensible reasons to protest, worthy issues to raise the “Wake Up Australia” flag to (at a more appropriate time of course). As a big picture person, Pearl feels that wearing masks and not being able to gallivant around the ‘burbs is really the least of our worries. So, wake up darlings, and get angry for our children’s futures, get angry over vested interests and tax dollar squandering, and get angry about…

• The companies that enthusiastically (and immorally) took advantage of the turnover loophole in the Jobkeeper Scheme, pocketing $25 billion in corporate welfare while increasing profits and shareholder returns. Next time you complain about the ‘dole bludgers’, think of Mirvac, Solomon Lew, Harvey Norman, Lendlease and PwC, and rage at Scott Morrison, who dismissed complaints about the rorting as “politics of envy”. Imagine how many COVID quarantine centres could have been built with that amount of dosh.
• The special privileges granted to the construction industry during the COVID shutdown. Despite the favouritism, the industry is still unhappy with the limits on worker numbers, using the usual scare tactics that firms will fold and jobs will be lost. This is an industry that has already benefited (and price gouged) from homeowner grants, a relaxation of lending rules (the Banking Royal Commission was a figment of my imagination) and low interest rates, while making life miserable for anyone living near another ugly, shoddily built development. Must keep Meriton’s $350 million residential tower in Parramatta on track and make Harry Triguboff wealthier!

And let’s not forget global warming, the “most mollycoddled property market in the world”, homelessness and the treatment of refugees, the elderly and disabled. Protestors, let’s clarify who is controlling your freedom. It’s not the government; your life is increasingly controlled by corporations. Instead of protesting in the streets, may I suggest you protest by closing your wallet, cutting up your credit card and ditching Afterpay. And, most importantly, get vaccinated!