April Thumbs

By Dan Hutton on April 16, 2015 in Other

Up – The Anzacs – April 25 is Anzac Day, a time to remember all our countrymen who gave or risked their lives to protect our way of life.

Down – War – We think of ourselves as such a civilised species, yet we happily cross oceans to blow each other up. Completely primitive.

Up – Harry ‘H-Man’ Nightingale – After god knows how many years keeping swimmers safe, H-Man has hung up the boots. Legend status granted.

Down – Quackery – Newsflash: sticking a shitload of coffee up your clacker and a crateful of fruit down your throat does not cure cancer.

Up – Guilt-free Chocolate – Easter, the one day of the year when you can eat as much chocolate as you like and not get fat, is almost here.

Down – Capital Punishment – No person or government should have the right to decide whether someone lives or dies. Full stop. The end.

Up – Buzz Cuts – Shaving your head is by far the best thing a bloke can do. It’s cheap, easy to maintain and it makes you like kind of tough.

Down – The Greyhound Industry – Is anyone actually surprised that this dodgy industry is full of cheats, crooks, shonkies and animal abusers?

Up – Joe Hughes – After nearly a decade as captain/manager of the mighty Ratpack touch footy team, Joe is hanging up his boots.

Down – The Aussie Dollar – Travelling overseas is now about twenty percent more expensive than it was this time last year. Should’ve hedged.