Beardy From Hell – August 2013

By Knower of Things on August 7, 2013 in Other

Leo Jul 24-Aug 23
Doing favours for loved ones is all well and good but you need to be selective and strategically pick favours that get you more recognition.

Virgo Aug 24-Sep 23
Try saying ‘yes’ more often. You’ll become overcommitted but that’s better than sitting around doing nothing, which is what you usually do.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23
That growth on your genitals is not going away. Book an appointment and get help from someone who knows what they’re doing.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22
Life doesn’t need to be so hard. Relax, make things easier for yourself and stop being one of those painful ‘my life’s so difficult’ martyrs.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 22
You’ve missed a boat that you needed to catch but you’ll soon realise that
standing safely on a dry dock is better than sailing away on a sinking ship.

Capricorn Dec 23-Jan 20
Yes, you’re a dumb prick but that doesn’t mean you’re totally useless. Surround yourself with other idiots who will be enriched by your presence.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19
Avoid making an important decision and just let it make itself. That way at least you can’t blame yourself for choosing the wrong option.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20
Thanks to that stupid saying, it’s quite difficult for a tradie to blame his tools but you can blame your coworkers whenever you like.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20
You deserve to feel like you’re the most important person in the world at least once a month and if that’s not the case you should replace your friends.

Taurus Apr 21-May 20
Learn how to do something useful. Your skill set has deteriorated drastically and the fields in which you excel add no value whatsoever.

Gemini May 21-Jun 21
No matter how shitty your life may sometimes seem, make the most of every situation you find yourself in and see just how good life can be.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 23
Use your downtime constructively instead of sitting around waiting for something else to happen. If you stare at the pot it will never boil.