The Bully’s Reward

By Todd Maguire on April 23, 2014 in Other

Scott lived up on the hill just out of town. For the past six months there had been an huge, elusive diamond python terrorising the local kids and picking off their pets one by one. The tally so far was two bunny rabbits and two healthy egg-laying chickens. The residents of the hill were not impressed and nor was Scott.

He arrived home one Thursday afternoon and heard the family Jack Russell frantically barking in the backyard. On closer inspection, the frothing little dog had bailed up the biggest python Scott had ever seen. He had evicted a few unwanted snakes, but none as big or as cunning as this one.

In an act of blind faith, Scott managed to manhandle the python and stuff it in a hessian sugar sack. He loaded the snake up in his Nike sports bag and threw it in the back of his ute. Scott knew if he was to keep the hill free of this predator he had to take it to the other side of town to prevent its return.

As Scott drove through town, the pub seemed to draw him in.

“It’s been a big afternoon,” he reckoned as he licked his lips. “I deserve a couple of cold ones to settle the nerves.”

He found a parking spot at the back of the pub and with a skip in his step, entered the watering hole and ordered a schooner of ice cold beer.

Following another beer and a friendly chat with his mates, Scott went to the bathroom for a leak. He crossed to the far side of the bar and was cornered by George, the town bully. Scott could handle himself quite well in a sticky situation but George The Bully was not worth a stamp. He was nasty to anyone who crossed his path and, like most bullies, had a heart the size of a pea.

The only person who was nastier and more disliked than him was his foul-mouthed wife. As well as having the personality of a blunt stick, she was very, very unattractive. She had teeth like rusty nails, an ample backside that showed how much she loved pork sausages, and vile breath that was strong enough to strip paint.

The entire town disliked the two bullies, but this didn’t worry them in the slightest. They were cashed up from an inheritance and spent every waking hour making complete pests of themselves around town. They were only allowed in the pub because their embarrassed uncle was the publican.

The one thing that upset George The Bully was when he tried to intimidate a victim and got no reponse. On this day, just like any other, Scott gave them a wide berth. This rattled George and his ugly wife and made them even nastier.

Following a few more drinks, the obnoxious couple left for home and a wave of relief enveloped the pub. As they stumbled through the car park they noticed Scott’s ute, and without a second thought pinched the Nike sports bag from the rear tray. “Looks like we’ve got something here,” they drunkenly hiccupped in unison, stumbling off into the evening. “Thank you Scotty boy!”

By this time Scott had finished his beer and was ready to get back to the task at hand: dumping the snake. When he reached his ute he noticed the Nike sports bag was missing. Straight away he put two and two together, realising who had pinched the bag. He smiled as he headed home to the hill.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, the drunk, ugly wife was doing her best to free her husband from the huge diamond python, which at this stage had the upper hand over George. Luckily a passer-by offered assistance, but not before the cranky old snake proceeded to turn George’s face bluer than a Newtown Jets footy jumper.

From that day on, George The Bully seemed to have mellowed in his bullying ways, but along with his horrible wife, he remained a first class pain in the arse.