Hey, That’s My Phone!

By Todd Maquire on December 24, 2013 in Other

You could set your watch by Geoff’s dedication to regularity. Every morning at 7am he would throw on his Nike running shoes, Roosters footy shorts and old Ferocious t-shirt and head down to Centennial Park for a workout. He had a pregnant wife at home who was due to pop any day, but there was no way this would meddle with his exercise routine. For this reason, his wife insisted Geoff carry his new mobile phone at all times. Just in case.

Geoff loved the sprawling park. Running the back tracks was like a religion and meditation rolled into one. There was never a soul around on Geoff’s regular cross country route, which made his morning hit-out even better. He was a slightly built fellow with the fitness of a kelpie. He would scoot around the ponds, leap over logs with ease and generally just switch off from the rest of the world. The fresh air made him feel he could run all day.

It was a crisp autumn morning and Geoff was halfway through his run, pondering over his impending fatherhood. He wasn’t quite sure what he had got himself into, but figured that bringing up a kid couldn’t be rocket science. As he rounded a densely wooded corner on the western side of the park, he collided with another jogger who was motoring along at the same speed in the opposite direction.

Geoff felt like he had been blindsided by a runaway Bondi tram. As he regained his composure the other jogger offered genuine apologies. The two men continued on their separate ways, but something was askew. Geoff instinctively checked in his shorts pocket and felt his new iPhone was missing.

“That bloody pick pocketing thief!” he thought.

Geoff immediately retraced his steps with the speed and fury of ten men. He eventually caught up with the jogger and in one fell swoop grabbed the culprit by the shirt.

“Give me that phone you shifty bastard!” he yelled.

Fueled by rage and adrenalin, Geoff let fly with a stern abusive rant. The jogger immediately offered the phone and took off quicker than a rat up a drainpipe. Geoff had just scared three years of life out of the poor bloke.

Geoff continued his gallop with a few extra kilometres thrown in and even ran the five flights of stairs up to his unit. He smiled and felt bulletproof. He had been robbed blindly but bravely faced the music to get his phone back. Geoff felt he could take on the world.

Arriving home, Geoff was totally out of breath and excited beyond belief. But when he walked through his front door, the welcoming party wasn’t exactly as friendly as Geoff had hoped. The pregnant wife was not happy at all. There she stood in the kitchen, a belly full of arms and legs, waving his new mobile phone at him.

“You forgot to take your mobile phone, dopey!” she barked at her husband. “I needed a couple of odds and ends from the chemist. How was I supposed to call you if you didn’t take your phone?”

Poor Geoff. His shoulders immediately sank and the puff in his chest instantaneously deflated. He sheepishly took his phone. A long hot shower did little to help make him feel better as he tried to figure a safe way to return the ‘extra’ phone to its real owner.