Is The Chivalrous Gent A Dying Breed?

By Mark Hytner on July 12, 2013 in Other

Is chivalry dead in Sydney? It certainly is in my household, at least according to my good wife. Having been on the wane for some time, sadly it finally passed away, not so peacefully and not in its sleep, the other night. The final nail in the coffin came when we both stirred from our slumbers at the same time and, with nature calling loud and clear, a foot race broke out to reach the facilities first. That race was won by me (easily, and without breaking sweat, it has to be said) and I was able to relieve myself while my better half was left to stand on the chilly bathroom tiles, hopping from foot to foot with a grimace on her face and shivering in the early winter dead-of-night cold. A sharp berating swiftly followed. How could I have done that to her? What was I thinking? What kind of man am I? Had I never heard of chivalry?

The Collins English dictionary defines chivalry as 1) the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak; and 2) courteous behaviour, especially towards women. While there is no mention of marital urination etiquette, it’s pretty clear my actions that night were far from noble. My defence is based on being barely awake at the time and, as such, not being of sound judgement. In fairness, though, that argument is just as weak as my newly perceived character.

What’s worse though, it convinced my wife that chivalry is a thing of the past not just in our house but everywhere in the Eastern Suburbs. All of a sudden she began to notice other men following in my own dastardly footsteps, as if in some way my indiscretion had served as a clarion call to all cads out there, giving them licence to stand tall and be proud of their dishonourable behaviour towards women and ‘the weak’.

So, over the past week I’ve heard angry rants about the guy in the ute who nicked a girl’s parking spot from under her nose, the man on a packed bus who miraculously fell into a deep sleep just as the pregnant lady got on looking for a seat, and the young hoon impatiently revving his car when an old dear teetered across a pedestrian crossing with her shopping bags. It seems the bastards are everywhere.

Where have all the knights in shining armour gone? Well, there’s a great t-shirt I once saw a girl sporting that carried a slogan pertaining to the fact that nothing of the sort existed – they all turned out to be ‘losers in tin foil’ in the end. I’m not entirely convinced just yet though. There are discourteous dickheads everywhere, as there always has been, even hundreds of years ago when chivalry was part of the medieval system. Just as there are still plenty of good guys about now – you just need to look at the letters section of this very publication, where we often hear tales of some have-a-go hero or mystery saviour coming to the rescue of a damsel in distress.

Certainly, yours truly will be endeavouring to be a more chivalrous knight from now on, and the next time there’s a race to the toilet, you can guarantee I’ll do the honourable thing and lose.