Jail and the Eastern Suburbs

By Pearl Bullivant on October 10, 2015 in Other

Be warned, rich people of the Eastern Suburbs – don’t deal drugs, man. Why? ‘Cause rich people (and anyone with an allergy to sugar, wheat, dairy and yeast) just aren’t cut out for a life in the slammer.

Take, for instance, the arrest and incarceration of Eastern Suburbs socialite and ‘blogger’ Lisa Stockbridge for drug dealing offences. If only Lisa had emailed The Beast to gain my insight prior to setting up a “sophisticated, well-planned and meticulously executed” drug dealing system out of the back of her Range Rover (very classy), the poor darling wouldn’t be languishing in jail, suffering from hair loss, migraines and mood swings, just because she needed money to maintain her ‘lifestyle’.

Had Lisa emailed me, I would have put her straight – forget drug dealing and instead live a more modest, authentic, old-school lifestyle, because prison won’t be catering for your numerous food allergies or shielding you from people “who don’t talk like me or look like me”. In the words of Lisa’s solicitor, prison is no place for a woman “brought up in a good family”.

The plight of Lisa Stockbridge is yet another example of the complete arrogance of those in our community who reside in the cloistered world of nice cars, nice houses, nice schools and nice, shiny (cocaine- and champagne-addled) people. Like our politicians, who see no wrong in flitting around in helicopters, there are those amongst us who think that they are above the niceties of everyday life and above the law. From the arrogant yummy mummy who illegally parks or speeds through a school zone (with phone at ear) at 70km/h, to the tosser who won’t leash his staffie or clean up after it, we all think that the rules don’t apply to us because we are special. Did Stockbridge really think the law would turn a blind eye to her drug dealing, that she would get a rap on the knuckles so she wouldn’t have to languish in the clink with canned food and riff-raff?

Stockbridge’s arrogance was not totally misplaced. Despite sentencing her to hard time, the presiding judge was so taken aback at having to incarcerate a person of Stockbridge’s standing (whose parents can afford to post a $400k bail) that he “ruminated on the calls” for the legalisation of drugs. Now I’m all for legalising drugs via a doctor or chemist, but not so that an Eastern Suburbs socialite can maintain her $12,000-a-week lifestyle. What makes her any different from the drug dealer from Mt Druitt? Does having an Eastern Suburbs apartment and wealthy acquaintances qualify her as a more suitable person to distribute drugs?

So, darlings, leave the drug dealing to the people of the Western Suburbs. It might be a good way of using one’s BComm, but it’s an occupation better left to the less salubrious and more streetwise people of The ‘Rith. Stick with insider trading and tattoos – there are some working class trends that are better left to the working class.