The First Date

By Todd Maguire on October 24, 2015 in Other

Young Eddie had been having a frustrating run of bad luck with the ladies. He knew he was only in a slump, but the lack of female companionship had him in quite a depressed state. Luckily, Eddie’s mate Kevin came to the fore with a solution to his dilemma.

Kevin gave Eddie an assuring slap on the back and was full of encouragement.

“Let me set you up with an acquaintance of mine, lucky Jane. She is a good sort and a great sport. I’ve had a few runs with her over the years, so it is only fair that you get on board too.”

Eddie was hesitant at first but agreed to take the lass out for a date and maybe a bit of hanky panky afterward. Instantly, Eddie had a sparkle in his eye and a noticeable spring in his step.

The afternoon of his date, Eddie ventured into the local chemist in order to purchase some protection for the likely chance of some horizontal folk dancing. Unfortunately the condoms he was after were located behind the counter. With his heart racing, Eddie made three attempts to approach the pharmacist, but just couldn’t do it.

Following almost half an hour of hanging around the chemist like a bad smell, Eddie was approached by the pharmacist. His smiling face was reassuring and gave some confidence to the sweat-drenched young Eddie.

“Come with me, young man. I reckon I know exactly what you are after.”

The pharmacist led Eddie to the side counter, winked and furnished him with a small package in a paper bag, noting there was a six-pack of male protection inside. Eddie was extremely relieved at the pharmacist’s high level of discretion.

“Thank you, sir,” Eddie said, radiating with excitement as he placed the package in his jacket pocket. He was as happy as a dog with two dicks. “I have a hot date tonight and apparently she is a sure thing. I just can’t wait.”

The old-school pharmacist looked at Eddie’s unbridled enthusiasm and lamented about his own youth.

“Now, young man, you get yourself home for a good rest and don’t be late for your date. A clean shave and a good splash of Brut 33 and you will hopefully be onto a good thing.”

Eddie gladly took the pharmacist’s advice and was standing fresh faced at the front door of his date’s house at 7pm sharp. Confidently, he rang the doorbell as his heart raced a little with anticipation.

When the father of his date opened the front door, Eddie didn’t have to think twice. Standing there with a look that could kill was the previously friendly pharmacist. Eddie took off like a missile over the front fence and never once looked back. He didn’t stop running until he exhausted all of his built-up testosterone and was about two suburbs clear.