The Tale Of The Tama Tosser

By Rupert Truscott-Hughes on January 11, 2012 in Other

I can’t believe I haven’t written about this before. Maybe it’s because litter isn’t much of a problem in Point Piper, apart from the occasional 100-dollar bill falling from Malcolm Turnbull or John Symond’s pocket (and I imagine these are snapped up by other savvy residents in a heartbeat, eradicating said litter problem).

You see, you don’t accumulate many McDonald’s wrappers when your idea of fast food is driving down to Double Bay in your Porsche for a couple of light courses at Dee Bee’s and a chat with Graeme Goldberg and Leo Sayer, and the beach in Point Piper is so bloody hard to find it doesn’t attract the throngs of tourists that flock to the more popular ocean beaches.

But now that I’m spending my summers in Bondi I have noticed that things are very different. At the end of a warm day, particularly on the weekend, beautiful Bondi resembles a rubbish tip, and the other local beaches aren’t much better.

In the past that when Beast contributors attribute this mess to those who visit from west of Anzac Parade they are quickly tarnished with the ‘racist’ tag, assuming that when we write about ‘westies’ we inherently mean our mates who’ve migrated from the Middle East. This is definitely not the case. I am yet see definitive evidence that any particular culture or ethnic persuasion influences the litter problem more than another. In fact, if anything it’s most probably the ‘Aussies’ – your stereotypical VB drinking, Billabong wearing, hotted up Holden driving, convict descending white person – who make the biggest contribution to the local untidiness.

Worse still, some information I recently received links local residents to the litter problem. Yep, that’s right, some Eastern Suburbs residents are soiling their own nest – our nest – and I hope the filthy bastards are reading this and taking note.

You see, having befriended a few of the pseudo celebrity lifeguards down at Bondi Beach, one in particular told me of a Tama-dwelling fashionista type (read ‘git’) with an East End accent, bad haircut and a wandering eye whom he had to reprimand for stubbing out his ciggie butts in the sand and simply leaving them there.

I’m amazed at the hide of this bloke on a number of levels, not only for leaving his litter behind, but for blatantly disregarding Waverley Council’s smoking bans and subjecting fellow beachgoers to his toxin-laden emissions. He clearly has absolutely no respect for anything but his own inflated ego.

So this summer, if you see someone leaving litter behind on the beach (or anywhere for that matter), let them know how you feel about it. Ask them (nicely) to take their rubbish with them and if they refuse, simply bin it yourself. It may not be a pleasant task but if it sure beats a messy beach (and a possible punch in the face).