Where The Bloody Hell Are You?

By Gerald McGrew on October 27, 2010 in Other

It doesn’t seem so long ago that mobile phones just made phone calls. You painfully typed in the number – or even more painfully navigated through its crappy phone book – and pressed call. You got to the point of the call quickly, hung up and subconsciously thanked Telstra for only charging $5.70 for your one minute conversation. It was all very simple.

Then along came texting and so began its gradual cannibalising of English. And didn’t that ‘jst sht me 2 trs’. Cameras and MMSing followed not long after, with naughty private high school types rejoicing at the ability to send pictures of their private parts to each other.

After that, the humble mobile phone went a bit over the top. Once the Internet was added we stopped calling it a phone; now it was ‘the mobile’. And the mobile got smarter and smarter, with better phone books, cameras, keyboards, touch screens, speakers, and computer processors. Now the high school kiddies could make HD porn and stream it live to the Net if they wanted to. Of course, some did, and they probably aren’t enjoying their new infamy and new schools. Then the iPhone appeared and redefined the mobile altogether, while Steve Jobs just redefined the term ‘wanker’.

However, it was the addition of GPS capability to mobiles that had us on the verge of a revolution. Facebook and Twitter have changed the developed world based on the simple premise of letting people know what you’re up to. And many of these updates also say where you are. So Facebook’s launch of its ‘Places’ service is a milestone for the mobile. Now your phone can automatically let your Facebook friends know where you are, and you can check where they are.

These location-based mobile services are not new. For years Stephen Fry has been using an iPhone app called Grinder to pull casual gay roots. There are numerous hetero versions of the same thing too, and in NZ there are a suspicious number of sheep with iPhones. Another service, called Foursquare, was launched in early 2009 and allows people to ‘check in’ at venues and be awarded points, ‘badges’ or be made ‘mayor’ of the location. Unsurprisingly, Foursquare is another thing that’s redefining the term ‘wanker’.

The difference now is that there hasn’t previously been a player the size of Facebook getting in on the location-based action. With over 9 million users in Australia alone it’s going to make an impact, eventually. I say that because letting your associates know where you are in real time isn’t always a good thing. On a night out on the cans it would be great to know if your friends are nearby – especially if they owe you money! However, carting screaming kids through the mall in your freshly puked-on Coles finery may not be the ideal time to hook up with your posse. I suppose this is social usage versus everyday utility, where the cocktail dress will trump the trackies.

And then there’s the generational aspect, where Baby Boomers can’t help but screen calls via their answering machines, and Gen Ys and Zs love telling the world pointless shit about their lives. Location-based services are obviously perfect for the latter.

Finally, let’s not forget the stalkers among us, of course – they couldn’t be happier. Hooray for the Internet!