MEET THE WONDERFUL MR. B

By Kieran Blake on June 7, 2017 in Satire

Once upon a time, there was a man named Mr. B. Mr. B liked many things starting with B. Most of all though, he liked spending time with his family.

Mr. B likes BUILDING. One time, he built a train. Not a big train, just a little train. Do you know how long it takes to build a train? It takes a long time. So long, lots of mums and mads got stuck in traffic and couldn’t spend time with their families. So, Mr. B spent time with their families.

Mr. B likes BAKING. He taught kids how to bake cakes, cookies, and other tasty treats. Do you like cookies? When Mr. B was baking, something strange happened. After the mixing, after the kneading, after the tasting, and after putting the goodies in the oven, Mr. B left. He left an almighty mess in the kitchen – flour, eggs, chocolate, milk, water – all over the place. Mummy and daddy had to clean up all the mess. Mr. B left the baking to spend more time with his family.

Mr.B. likes BARRACKING. Do you know what barracking means? It means cheering and supporting someone. Mr. B barracked for kids playing sport, because their parents were stuck in traffic. The kids ran, kicked, passed, hit, jumped, tackled, scored, and smiled. Mr. B. barracked. Then something strange happened. Mr. B left at half time. The kids had no oranges to eat. Mr. B left to spend more time with his family.

Mr. B. likes BOARD RIDING. He took kids board riding, because their parents were stuck in traffic. One day he took some kids out the back for the very first time, to catch their first real wave. The wave came. “Paddle, paddle, paddle!” cried Mr. B. The kids stood up for the very first time. They were so happy. Then something strange happened. Mr. B left. He left the kids out the back in the middle of a rip, all alone. The lifeguards had to save the kids. Mr. B left to spend more time with his family.

Mr. B. likes BULLDOZING. One day, when the mums and dads were stuck in traffic, he bulldozed their kids’ veggie patch. Then the mums and dads came home. “What happened?” they asked. “Mr. B bulldozed our vegie patch,” the children explained, crying. “We said no, but he put special bracelets on us. Look!” After bulldozing the veggie patch, Mr. B went to spend more time with his family.

So Mr. B likes building, baking, barracking, board riding, and bulldozing. He also likes spending time with his family. But, do you know what he likes most?

He likes BANKS.