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Beardy from Hell – October 2018

LIBRA SEP 24-OCT 23 There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating in a dark corner of a movie theatre, except maybe during school holidays. SCORPIO OCT 24-NOV 22 At some stage you’ll abuse your position of power to take advantage of someone under your control, and you’ll thoroughly enjoy it. SAGITTARIUS NOV 23-DEC 21 Don’t […]

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A Very Long Journey on a Very Long Train

Our very first sighting of the Indian Pacific train, with its iconic silver bullet-like carriages and famous eagle emblem, was at Perth train station. It was so long that we couldn’t see its beginning or end. The train is an unbelievable 774 metres in length, just less than two full laps of an Olympic running […]

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What is it Like to be Gay and Asian?

It is difficult enough for young men and women in Australia to come out when they realise they are gay, but being gay when you belong to a culture that doesn’t accept homosexuality is much more difficult. One of my clients is a young Chinese man who is studying in Sydney. He suspected that he […]

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Air-Patter Brings Short-term Pet Hire to Local Footy Fanatics

Eastern Suburbs residents are scrambling to hire the few remaining September Pets in anticipation of strong local representation at the business end of this year’s footy finals. Last minute orders are flooding in to local enterprise AIR-PATTER, which is offering short-term leasing of freelance roosters, rabbits and swans. “Hire the perfect accessory,” reads the AIR-PATTER […]

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Water for Me, Water for All

Our country is in the midst of a terrible drought. Sydney’s dams and catchments, responsible for bringing water to our taps, are currently at 69 per cent capacity. Farmers’ hardships are giving rise to city fundraisers and stirring up a collective concern for our people on the land. And rightly so; it would be foolish […]

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Is Your Phone Your Best Friend?

Recently I found myself in conversation with the local postman who was delivering the street’s mail. After exchanging a few pleasantries, we quickly got on to the topic of how his job has changed over the last 10 years. He cut straight to the chase, saying that people don’t send letters anymore meaning he now […]

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The Unreliable Guide to… De-cluttering Your Life

The Unreliable Guide moved house last month and had to sort out ten years worth of accumulated stuff. It turns out I was hoarding a lot of crap. Are you? Apparently about 80 per cent of us find it painful to get rid of stuff, even if it’s not used, wanted or liked. We may […]

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Which School is Best?

Nothing gets that barbecue or dinner party conversation off to a start better than the debate over which school is best. And why wouldn’t it? Every parent or guardian cares deeply about the quality of education their child receives, some to the point of obsession. Public or private, big or small, secular or faith based, […]

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Privatised Assets a Public Concern

Growing numbers of Australians are seriously concerned and even fiercely opposed to the continuing sale of government assets and the privatisation of so many services once provided by government. With the mass sell-offs of the family furniture across the board at all levels of government, many of us now hold serious concerns about losses of […]

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Robot Robbers Are All Around

My dear sister, Consuela, only the other day made a remarkable statement. She said: “Robot robbers are all around us.” Naturally I was thrown into a mild state of panic by this rolling alliteration, so I immediately asked her what she meant. Connie explained that she was talking of the poker machines that proliferate like […]

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The Beast.