Beardy From Hell – August

By Beardy McLaughlin on August 1, 2011 in Other

Leo Jul 24-Aug 23
You need to stop putting so much faith and trust in your friends. How can you rely on others when you can’t even rely on yourself?

Virgo Aug 24-Sep 23
Work hard now while it’s freezing so you can make the most of summer. There’s nothing worse than working when everyone’s at the beach.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23
Do not beep your car horn aggressively at anyone who has mini boxing gloves hanging from their rear vision mirror.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22
Why are you working so hard in your shitty job when you can get paid $200k to move to WA and sit on a digger? Something isn’t right.

Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 22
The initial pain of owning up to something you’ve done wrong is always less than the repercussions if you don’t. Karma always finds you.

Capricorn Dec 23-Jan 20
For unknown reasons, your current tube of toothpaste will last longer than any tube you have previously been in possession of.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19
Please curb your enthusiasm around people you don’t know that well. You have the potential to be quite annoying in these situations.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20
You’ll get cold feet in more ways than one this month and it will take more than a good pair of ugg boots to solve your problems.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20
Instead of being an argumentative prick, try walking away from a confrontation and realise how much easier your life can be.

Taurus Apr 21-May 20
You need to find something else to do with your evenings instead of watching mind-numbing television for hours and then going to bed.

Gemini May 21-Jun 21
You’re going to enjoy the best sex you’ve ever had this month. Make the most of it while it lasts, which should be for quite a while.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 23
Stop worrying about your future so much and enjoy the present. Anyone who thinks they’ve got it all worked out is full of it.