News Satire People Food Other

Super XV Australian Wine Conference

By Dan Hutton on April 5, 2011 in

With the Super XV season now in full swing, let’s see what happens when we line up the Australian teams against each other in a battle of the wines. Sorry Queensland, you don’t make a lot of wine, so you’re out of this one.

First Semi-Final: NSW Waratahs vs Western Force

You’ll find two types of wine in NSW, the mass-produced cask stuff from the Riverina (with the odd gem in there like De Bortoli Noble One) and the potentially awesome but not always popular Hunter Semillons, Chardonnays and big, blocky Shirazes (a.k.a. the Al Baxters). They’ve got style, but they’ve also got very picky wine buyers who only show up when they’re going well.

In contrast, the WA regions produce elegant, stylish wines. While they’ve only been around for a short while, they’ve had time to gain a significant place in Australian history. Most will know their zippy Dry Whites (a.k.a. the James O’Connors) but the surprising power and structure of some of their reds are world class (a.k.a. the David Pococks). While NSW has some vocal supporters, WA produces wines that keep the average punter happy and others that appeal to the harshest critic. Western Force progresses to the final.

Second Semi-Final: Melbourne Rebels vs ACT Brumbies

While I should only include regions around the Peninsula and perhaps the Yarra Valley as Melbourne regions, I’ll also allow marquee signings from Heathcote, the Grampians, Rutherglen and others. There are some standout names in the Melbourne line-up, like Kooyong, Giaconda, By Farr and Yarra Yering among others, but their impact on wine sales doesn’t always live up to their lofty reputations. However, the depth of the line-up is impressive, with all sorts of world beating wine styles coming through.

The ACT has a few famous names too, like Clonakilla. Despite some standout performances over recent years (get your hands on the 2009 Clonakilla Shiraz Viognier if you can!) the ACT just isn’t big enough to take on the power and depth of the Melbourne team. Still, keep an eye on them in the future as their line-up expands. Rebels win easily.

Grand Final: Western Force vs Melbourne Rebels

WA is pretty consistent, producing solid performances in most years, with the occasional poor year thrown in to keep them honest. The Rebels are inconsistent, with a few horror years recently due to various natural disasters, but on their day the Rebels can beat the best in the world.

While the Force take an early lead with the talent of players like Leeuwin, Vasse Felix and Howard Park, the Rebels bring the marquee players off the bench early in the second half to mount a devastating comeback with recent stunning performances by Curly Flat, Bindi, Campbells and Mount Langi. Strong 2007 and 2008 efforts by Cullen and Moss Wood keep the Force in the game and extra time is needed.

The injuries to the Rebels in recent years with frosts and fires take their toll and the Force win the Super XV Australian Wine Conference with a penalty in front of the posts against Danny Cipriani for taking a man out (bonus points if you got this gag!).

In my opinion, WA has the best track record in recent vintages, but Victoria isn’t far behind.  So stretch out from the usual South Australia drops and try something from these states. Why not enjoy a bottle in front of the rugby?