A Horse In Cambodia – A Cycle Of Madness

By Duncan Horscroft on April 29, 2013 in Other

There’s an extreme sport in Asia that Red Bull has yet to add its moniker. It’s called Motor Scooter Madness and Tuk-tuk Terror.

In Phnom Penh, as in most other parts of South-East Asia, the rules are, there are none.

And this applies especially on the roads, where I read in one of the local English rags that road accidents were down over the Khmer New Year period, while fatalities were higher.

Work that one out if you can.

But given the amount of people these tireless two-wheeled workhorses ferry around on a regular basis, one can begin to understand why the toll is so high.

I actually saw one bike with six people on it the other day and that is a personal best as far as I am concerned. So although there might only be one accident involving a motor scooter, the odds of more fatalities is higher.

Whether or not they are ferrying multitudes around, their road skills are quite amazing.

I’m sure this is where the hands-free system for mobile phones was invented – when they have a hand free they use the mobile phone!

And they do so comfortably while zipping in and out of the masses of traffic requires great talent.

Fortunately, because of the density of the traffic, a lot of these bike can go no faster than about 40km/h. Although I have seen a few of the local hoons on their 250cc ‘monsters’ give the throttle a serious squirt, missing oncoming traffic by little more than a pubic hair.

‘Oncoming traffic’ seems to be a misnomer, given that whatever direction you are travelling or which side of the road you’re on, there is always oncoming traffic.

Why the local road authority bothers to paint unbroken lines and even pedestrian crossings on the roads is a puzzle. I figure this was to give the people doing nothing something to do while they are doing nothing.

And as for traffic lights, well it’s a case of red for stop if you so wish but in most cases it’s red for ‘have a go’ if you dare.

Tuk-tuks are a little more restricted in their daring-ness, as most wouldn’t pull the skin off a custard. We were in one the other day that had to negotiate one of the few inclines in town, over the Japanese bridge tht crosses the Tonlie Sap River.

The rise would not have been much more than about 30 degrees and we could have walked faster.

While most motor scooter riders don’t wear helmets and have their own hands-free system with phones, most tuk-tuk drivers do wear helmets and these are ideal for squeezing the phones between their cheek and helmet for perfect hands-free talking while keeping both hands on the handlebars.

And the tuk-tuks aren’t without their inventiveness. Because they are continually on the move towing a solid wooden and metal cart with people in it, their small engines get a bit warm.

So to combat this the drivers hook up a makeshift water bottle with a plastic hose feeding water over the top of the motor. So much for state-of-the-art water cooling systems.

The tuks-tuks are also the masters of extreme sports and can turn many a knuckle white with their adventurous lane changing escapades, especially in front of the buses, trucks and four-wheel drives, which are top of the pecking order on the roads and give way to no one.

So there you have it Red Bull. I’m available for discussion if you are considering adding Phnom Penh to your agenda with the Motor Scooter Madness team.