News Satire People Food Other

Alleged Crimes of the East

By Gary Larceny on October 6, 2020 in Other

Police pin-up boy Zach Dowdall.

Wanted Wannabe Actor
Police are seeking public assistance to locate a would-be actor wanted on animal cruelty and theft charges.
Zachery Dowdall, 26, has two outstanding warrants for animal cruelty and theft offences, according to a Facebook posting by Eastern Beaches Police Command. Police say he is “known to frequent the Maroubra and Potts Point areas.”
Police have issued this picture and urge anyone with information to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000.
Dowdall is listed as Zach Dowdall on the website. His entry says he is a hopeful actor and extra (“no previous experience”) and model (“beginner, starting out”).

Bondi Psychic Scam
Police have warned that Bondi elderly are being targeted by a pair of Russian-speaking conwomen who get their victims to hand over money in exchange for removing a curse.
A posting on Facebook by Eastern Suburbs Police Command said the scammers convinced elderly people, often of Russian background, “that they and their family are cursed, and if not removed a family member could die. The curse removal requires a special ritual as well as a number of specific tasks by the victim.”
“The victim is then required to present large sums of cash. Once the ritual is completed, the victim is sent away with what they believe to be their cash only to find the cash is missing and they have been defrauded.”
Police urge anyone with information about the curse-removing con artists to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333000 or their local police station.

Bike Theft Warning
Police have warned bicycle owners to take stronger steps to secure bikes following a series of recent thefts in the Bondi Junction area.
“Never leave your bike unattended and unsecured,” warned Eastern Suburbs Police command, “and always lock the wheels and frame to a secure object.”
In addition, police advise taking pictures of your bike and recording its serial number, make and model. It is also recommended that you engrave or otherwise mark your bike frame with your driver’s licence number or other “unique identifier.”

Hong Kong Weapons Cache
A Maroubra man was under a delusion that he could help protestors in Hong Kong when he amassed a cache of illegal weapons in his flat, Waverley Court was recently told.
Jacob Hui, 50, appeared before the court on illegal weapons charges after Australian Border Force officers intercepted several suspicious packages mailed to him from overseas. The home was raided and police found more than 100 illegal weapons including flick knives, axes and knuckle dusters.
Hui’s solicitor, Michael Ainsworth, told the court that his client was mentally ill and had been suffering from a delusion that he could help democracy demonstrators in his native Hong Kong by amassing the weapons.
“He was never a danger, he couldn’t transfer these objects physically,” Mr Ainsworth told the court.
A number of psychiatric reports were placed before the court as evidence of Hui’s mental health issues.
Magistrate Jacqueline Trad dismissed the charges and gave Hui a discharge on the condition he adhere to a psychiatric treatment plan. She noted that he had “a long history in relation to schizophrenia.”

Pissed Porsche Driver
A Porsche driver with an eight year-old child in the front beside him was allegedly caught in Bondi driving more than three times over the legal alcohol limit.
His Porsche 922 was pulled up by police on Beach Road “in relation to his manner of driving,” according to a police press release.
“When police approached, they noticed an eight year-old boy in the front passenger seat.”
The driver, a 34 year-old Vaucluse resident, was given a roadside breath test which returned a positive result. He was arrested and taken to Waverley Police Station where police say a breath analysis gave a reading of 0.163.
He was charged with high-range PCA, his licence was suspended and police made a “child at risk” notification.

Inky-faced Suspect
Scott Gasparini, subject of an arrest warrant for assault offences, has distinctive face and neck tattoos. Mind you, his diminutive stature – he is just 165cm tall – might make it easier for him to sink into the crowd.
Gasparini, aged 30, is known to frequent the Coogee, Kingsford and Nepean areas. Anyone who may have information is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000. If you spot him, police warn not to approach him but to instead call triple zero immediately.