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Beardy From Hell

By Knower Of Things on October 30, 2013 in Other


Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 22
Get your section in order. You’re due for some action in the near future and you won’t get repeat business if your junk resembles a nuclear explosion.

Capricorn Dec 23-Jan 20
There is a direct inverse relationship between the amount of time spent on social media and how good your life actually is, so get off your phone.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19
Don’t be driven by revenge. You’re better off concentrating on maximizing your own utility rather than minimising someone else’s.

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20
Change your aura. The negative vibe that enshrouds you is poisoning everyone you come into contact with and destroying your life.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20
The time has come to start chasing your big dream. Leave it any longer and it will be too late, but at least you can be content in your mediocrity.

Taurus Apr 21-May 20
You are too focused on why something can’t be done. Look for solutions rather than problems and see how much more you can achieve.

Gemini May 21-Jun 21
Have a good look in the mirror before leaving the house. Some of the shit you’ve been wearing lately is plain weird and people are starting to worry.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 23
Don’t be intimidated by a bit of competition. Raise the bar and compete hard and you’ll be better off in the long run after you’ve destroyed them.

Leo Jul 24-Aug 23
Heed the warning signs and start looking after yourself. You can’t go on treating your rig like a garbage bin forever.

Virgo Aug 24-Sep 23
Never be too nice or that will become the benchmark and anything less will be perceived as not nice enough. Just keep a bit in reserve.

Libra Sep 24-Oct 23
Beware the old friend reappearing in your life after a long absence; they’re up to no good and should be treated with the utmost suspicion.

Scorpio Oct 24-Nov 22
Be an innovator and continuously improve yourself. The second you become complacent will be the second you get overtaken and left behind.