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The Beast’s Monthly Mailbag – May 2018

By The People of the Eastern Suburbs on April 27, 2018 in Other

Royal Commission into the banks
I don’t usually follow politics, but when I heard the Federal Government was opening a royal commission into the banks my ears pricked up.
I have been surfing Bondi for over 20 years and I can’t remember a summer when the banks were worse. They are appalling! Friends from Bronte say the same.
A royal commission may be taking it a little too far, but us surfers are a powerful lobby group these days, not to be underestimated.
Malcolm Turnbull, local member for Bondi Beach, the surfers of Australia salute you!
Peter Manus Strain

‘Pup Crawls’ in the East
My partner and I like a drink and we have a one year-old dog. Since we’ve had our puppy, the three of us have been going on ‘pup crawls’, not in the Eastern Suburbs, but in the Inner West, Surry Hills or Paddington, because there are very few dog-friendly pubs in the east and I don’t understand why.
You can have your dog out the front of the Clovelly Hotel and the Coogee Pavilion caters for dogs with bowls and tethering, but that’s pretty much it. In Marrickville, at The Grifter Brewing Co. you can take your dog inside and they have jars of doggie treats. At The Vic on the Park, now owned by Justin Hemmes, you can take your dogs on the timber deck. Dogs are allowed inside at Willie the Boatman, and they’re allowed out in the beautiful courtyard at The Beresford in Surry Hills. The London and Grand National in Paddington allow you to take them into the bar and they’re allowed in the courtyard at The Iron Duke. I rang the Duke of Gloucester in Randwick, thinking that being nicknamed “The DOG” and having an outside area it would be fine to take your dog, but the answer was, “No”.
This is not about me. We just want to spend as much time with our puppy as possible but I seem to always end up being the designated driver so I can only have two drinks. If pubs closer to where we live were dog-friendly we could walk there and I could maybe enjoy a few alcoholic beverages.
So, pubs in the east, can you please consider letting dogs in? It’s happening all around you, don’t get left out.

Mace Face
What’s the matter, Julian of Waverley? Do you feel that your right to molest strangers is being unfairly impinged upon?
Grow a brain cell. Now everybody knows what a sleazebag you are. I’m not going to be thrown into court for kneeing you in the testicles, because you won’t get up when I’m done with you.

The Cover
Hi – Your cover girl of the April edition is why I am not too keen on your magazine. Michelle Jenneke, a Sports Illustrated model and not too successful sportswoman, is obviously there for male readers. There must be so many suitable women you could have put on the front with a meaningful interview in the mag, but I guess these type of women are not attractive enough.
The Moon

Michelle Jenneke
Hello James – I have just phoned 2UE (Sports) and suggested they research Michelle’s great record.
I predict Sally may be aware that this young ‘rocket’ is about to take the ‘Fastest in the World’ title. Maybe better to retire prior to being defeated? Well, time will tell all. Love The Beast!
Bruce Rigby
North Randwick

Return and lose
Despite Gabrielle Upton’s denials and spin, it was quite clear from the start that the roll-out of the Return and Earn scheme has been a debacle.
Why were all the machines not set in place before we were charged the deposit? The only machines in the Eastern Suburbs are at UNSW and Malabar, not to mention that Coogee has no participating businesses. Let’s get some machines in locations like Lyne Park, Clovelly Beach, etc.
Why is this scheme different to most? In schemes here and in the US the consumer retains their full deposit.
Why were the bottle manufacturers charged huge amounts upfront for the scheme, yet Ms Upton is claiming she doesn’t tell these businesses what to do?
Why didn’t Ms Upton consult with South Australia, who have been running a great container deposit scheme for decades?
What’s happening with the normal council bottle collection? Ms Upton told us councils will be passing on savings to ratepayers, but how will that work? I can’t imagine the garbage trucks all heading off to Malabar to unload one bottle at a time through the machine, then heading to Woolworths to obtain the refund. Can Waverley Council please enlighten us? Will it be pursuing the 10c deposit?
There are so many puzzling questions that Ms Upton has failed to answer. I’m sure she is a great local member, but her record in the environment and other portfolios is not so great.
Anthony Bosch

The Randwick Tram
I just wanted to say thankyou for the awesome article in the April edition of The Beast by Dr Marjorie O’Neill (Why the Bondi Tram is the Wrong Way To Go, The Beast, April 2018).
I totally agree with the author and her opinion, and finally I believe I’m not alone in thinking that the whole Randwick tram solution is not going to solve anything, and the government proved to us once again how easy it is to ignore the past and not learn from previous mistakes.
It’d be great if Randwick Mayor Lindsay Shurey read this too and reconsidered the whole overpriced and inefficient tram project before it’s too late.
Please continue raising awareness of this critical topic about atrocious public transport in the Eastern Suburbs.
Bruno Pales

A Thankyou
Dear Editor – On January 4, I fell while walking on Oxford Street – crossing York Road – and broke my nose, tore all the skin off my nose, and cut my forehead, knees, elbows, etc. A young man – I think he was riding a bike – picked me up and held me in his arms. I was bleeding profusely and shaking.
Two young women also stopped and called an ambulance, which never came. They called my grandchildren, who drove me to St Vincent’s Hospital. I required two hours of plastic surgery. Part of my face skin was used to cover the nose. I was in the hospital for a week, but back again the following week with double pneumonia. I was on oxygen for a month and then sent to Wolper to recuperate.
I am sorry about the delay in thanking the young man. I did not take his name, nor did I thank him back then. I was too confused and in too much pain. Also, I did not know how to reach him. I hope he reads The Beast so I can thank him and say how very grateful I am. I am 94 years old.
Bondi Junction

Barnaby Joyce’s Bundle of Joy
After his recent demotion to the backbench, perhaps Barnaby Joyce (Pearl’s of Wisdom, The Beast, April 2018) could find the time to do three things: 1. Shoot the pirate’s dogs; 2. Get the girl, and; 3. Go back to New Zealand.
Among all the kerfuffle about Barnaby Joyce and his party that stands for traditional family values is the fact that he had sex with a junior staffer, may or may not be set to become a new daddy, and that he might face rafts of sexual harassment claims against him from within his own party.
But there is also some good news for Barnaby Joyce. Unlike his ideological off-sider, Donald Trump (aged 71), whose party also stands for traditional family values, Barnaby Joyce (aged 50) will not be exposed to the juicy details of a Stormy Daniels. Joyce’s new girlfriend, Vikki Campion, is unlikely to say what Daniels reported. According to Daniels, their sexual encounter was “textbook generic”, involving only “one position”, as might be expected “from a man his age”.
Good news number two is that Barnaby Joyce was, as is often the case, able to rely on the Murdoch Press, who waited to break Barnaby’s sex stories after the New England election was won comfortably by Barnaby. This is how democracy is made. Once again the electorate has been conned.
Beyond that, operating like a juke box into which someone has inserted 50 cents, Prime Minister Turnbull swiftly played the right record. He assisted (some say forced) Barnaby’s (perhaps temporary) move to the backbench. The hope is to get Joyce out of the media spotlight, and it may already have had the intended impact.
As a local politician told me recently on Barnaby, “He is gone.” But one might not give up too soon on “Australia’s best retail politician – a great face-to-face salesman” (, who can supposedly sell everything to everyone. Barnaby Joyce might even be with us permanently. Only on March 4, Mr Joyce revealed that the identity of the child’s biological father was a “grey area”. The man is not finished yet – with sex stories and otherwise!
Thomas Klikauer