Melbourne Cup Overflows With Booze

By Mike Hynter on December 18, 2012 in Other

Most virgin visitors to Sydney have amazing memories of the time they first set foot in this magnificent city: a wander down to the harbour, a trip to the Opera House, fish and chips at Watsons Bay or a swim in the ocean at Bondi – all magnificent experiences truly worthy of the wonderful setting.

Regrettably, I cannot count myself in that fortunate majority and my own first taste of Australia was not exactly the most palatable. Memorable, undoubtedly, but enjoyable? Far from it.

Several years ago, pre-emigration and on my maiden voyage Down Under as a holiday-maker, I stepped off the plane and was whisked straight to a popular beachside hotel to get an instant fix of what, I was reliably informed, was a slice of true Aussie culture. It was the first Tuesday of November that year, and that meant only one thing: Melbourne Cup day.

To be honest, not being a big fan of the nags, at the time I didn’t really have any concept of just how huge this horse race is, or what it means to so many people over here. We have the Grand National back in England, but it’s not even in the same ballpark.

Yet judging by the bloke bent over double performing a textbook technicolour yawn and the two girls flashing their boobs in the pub courtyard that day – at 11am, no less – I instantly understood why they say the Melbourne Cup is the race that stops a nation. How’s the country expected to continue when it’s so bloody pissed?

It was a harsh introduction to Australia. Maybe I was just too tired, grumpy and not-so-fragrant after a gruelling 24-hour flight but, not wanting to see anymore, I made a swift exit. Who knows what other random acts of undiluted revelry I missed that day. I’m not sure I ever want to find out.

I’ve avoided large gatherings of once-a-year ‘equine enthusiasts’ ever since and a report published in the run-up to this year’s race at Flemington has done little to change my hard-line stance. The findings revealed a clear link between “alcohol-related harm” and sporting events, with the Melbourne Cup the worst of the lot.

Admittedly, the report focused on the state of Victoria, but with calls for Cup Day to become a nationwide holiday (most notably in a recent article published by the Sydney Morning Herald), how long before those statistics are reflected in NSW?

The day is historically associated with gambling, but now also seems fundamentally linked to excessive boozing, and all the vomit and breasts – not to mention the fights, accidents and injuries – that go hand-in-hand with that. Those calling for the Victorian holiday to be replicated across the nation highlight the event’s capacity to help to define Australia’s national identity.

But when the inevitable photos of girls falling over their nine-inch heels and blokes in suits having a biff are published the day after (this is, for deadline reasons, being written on the eve of the race), is that really what they had in mind?

You’d hope not. Drunken mayhem surely can’t feature too prominently on Tourism Australia’s list of essential things to see and do for visitors to the country. And I’m sure I’m not alone in saying I’d rather associate Aussie culture with something other than a monster piss-up.