Pearl’s Praise For Dog Almighty

By Pearl Bullivant on May 11, 2011 in Other

Pearl had thought that she’d seen it all when it comes to overindulged Eastern Suburbs dogs. There are dog parties and dog jewellery in Double Bay, and a dog crèche and ‘pupcakes’ in Surry Hills (so Zebedee “doesn’t feel left out”), but the ultimate in dog overindulgence must be the ‘Dog Pet Pram’, complete with dual drink holder for the doggycinos and roomy storage for organic treats.

The Dog Pram would have come in handy for the pathetic Potts Point resident who wrote to the SMH Domain complaining that her dog had been refused entry to real estate inspections. It would have also been a boon to those Mosman matrons who had been banned from taking their dogs to cafes; matrons who squealed so loudly about their dogs’ ‘rights’ that the Companion Animals Act was changed to “accommodate the desire of pet owners to include their pooch when socialising”.

Millions of children in developing countries are living in poverty but here in the Affluent Suburbs we wheel dogs around in prams and feed them cupcakes. People are incarcerated in prisons for their political beliefs but precious dog owners are up in arms about having to put their dog in a plane luggage hold and worried it will miss out on a family outing because it is denied the ‘right’ to go to a café or house hunting! Yes, the dog ‘right’ advocates want dogs to be allowed on planes! Imagine a plane full of yuppies and their overindulged puppies – complete anarchy. They’d probably expect the poor air stewards to be on poo patrol!

Isn’t it time dog ‘right’ advocates were pulled into reality? As with all types of zealots they have no regard for anyone else’s comfort or rights; in fact, they seem to despise ‘normal’ dog owners who do the right thing and pick up dog poo and keep their dogs on a leash. And, like all zealots, if you dare question their philosophy you are instantly branded a ‘dog hater’. The outrage when anyone dares to challenge the rights of dogs has councils running scared – when a dog killed a penguin at North Head it was immediately suggested that the resident penguins be put in a zoo so that dogs could have free rein. And Randwick Council would rather force local rugby league teams to find alternative playing fields because of the amount of excreta lying around than enforce a ‘no poo’ policy at Barden Park.

Well, I’ve had a gutful of dog rights, especially after I encountered a slobbering dog standing next to me with its front paws on the counter of a parkland café (I dared not complain lest I copped an ear-bashing from the dog’s pretentiously loud owner).

It’s time dog owners were challenged on their monopoly on pet rights. Rodent, feline, amphibian, reptile and bird owners – join with Pearl, and her cat Kerry, and stand up for your rights! Lobby Randwick Council so that the mayor will be forced to make statements such as “Council understands the NEEDS of guinea pig owners, which is one of the reasons we provide 13 off-leash cavy exercise parks”.

Once we have secured the parks, abuse this freedom by refusing to pick up guinea pig excreta. Let your rat jump on toddlers, take your rabbit to the EQ Markets and place it on the counter at Toby’s Estate. Take your budgie to Clodeli and block the footpath with its cage. Complain when your lizard is refused entry to an open house. Play dog owners at their own game – your pets are companion animals too!

Pearl…