News Satire People Food Other

The Rise Of The Dad Bod

By Rupert Truscutt-Hughes on October 16, 2015 in Other

Photo: Frank Abagnale Jr.

Photo: Frank Abagnale Jr.

In a victory for middle-aged men everywhere, popular culture is finally pushing the virtues of the paunch – or the ‘dad bod’ as it has been dubbed – and the poster child for this most unlikely of movements is none other than Hollywood playboy Leonardo Di Caprio, who, at the age of 40, has let his rig become more rotund whilst still bagging a bevvy of beautiful maidens. Whether or not the common man can achieve similar feats is yet to be seen, but at least it gives us all hope.

According to Urban Dictionary, a dad bod is “a male body type that is best described as ‘softly round’. It’s built upon the theory that once a man has found a mate and fathered a child, he doesn’t need to worry about maintaining a sculpted physique.”

The description goes on further to say that, “If human bodies were cuts of meat, the dad bod would skew more marbled rib eye than filet mignon; or, if human bodies were sea mammals, a dad bod would be more like a grazing manatee than a speedy dolphin. The dad bod is more mudslide than mountain, more soft serve than sorbet, more sad trombone than clarinet, more mashed potato than skinny fry. The dad bod is built for comfort.”

Interestingly, while Di Caprio’s dad bod is front and centre when Googling this cultural phenomenon, the actor is yet to father a child (surely that can’t be true?). Yep, you heard right: he ain’t even a dad, yet he’s embracing the dad bod. Could you hope for a more telling testimonial than that? If DiCaprio is happy to pull for the podge, shouldn’t we all?

The significance of this victory for men everywhere could not be any sweeter, particularly given the propensity of pumped-up posers to take to all forms of social media to show off their sculpted abs and bulging biceps. To learn that a significant proportion of the fairer sex finds this behaviour to be nothing more than a massive flog has restored my faith in humanity – superficiality is so 2014 anyway!

Rupert here can proudly attest to have been way ahead of the trend when it comes to the dad bod – I’ve been sporting mine since I was about 16 years old. And while I’m glad that fashion has finally caught up with my trail-blazing ways, I sincerely hope that the dad bod doesn’t go the way of the beard and become the domain of the hipster. Thankfully it’s rather difficult to procure a paunch on a diet of kale and almond milk chai, though, so this is one fad that should be safe.

Finally, I’d like to note that like big Leo, we may possess a few flabby folds out front, but we’re not all dads. There are plenty of us who aren’t attached. So ladies, if you’re looking for a handsome man with carefully crafted curves, look no further. You can find me and many others of my ilk embracing our masculinity proudly at the north end of Bondi Beach. Come up and say hi.