The Writing Is On The Wall For Julie Bishop

By Pearl Bullivant on July 17, 2014 in Other

Bleeding heart that I am, I have thwarted yet another opportunity to confess my sugar addiction to the world. Last month’s column was devoted to clearing the name of a brawling billionaire who was clearly in need of my assistance, and this month ‘agony aunt extraordinaire’ Pearl Bullivant is here to help Julie Bishop discover why anybody would be rude and inconsiderate enough to scrawl a swastika on her freshly cleaned electoral office window.

Although the swastika was very small, Julie’s hypocritical reaction to the incident had me reaching out to her, knowing too well that neo-conservatives, by their very nature, lack humour and instead need to be guided through irony.

“I am a supporter of free speech and respect the right to protest in Australia,” complained Ms Bishop. “However, it has to be done peacefully and respectfully without any damage to property,” she added, before delivering the following clincher for Pearl: “It is disappointing that any form of Nazi symbolism should be invoked by anyone in support of their cause.”

Should Pearl expect any less from the politician who once championed deportment classes in public schools? With a reaction like that, it’s about time Julie cast her death staring eyes inward for some serious soul searching and chakra cleansing. Life might be all black and white and terribly upper class for the Liberal Party, with jail being the only place worthy for the wielders of red felt-tipped pens (I always have one handy to correct public spelling mistakes), but shouldn’t Jules be asking why a Nazi symbol and not a peace sign, love heart or ‘The Voice’ logo was scrawled on her office’s facade? Could the scrawler see the absolute truth in the sentiments of the symbol being drawn, knowing too well that it reflects the government that Bishop represents? And wasn’t it the Liberal Government that ‘invoked’ the word ‘Communist’ (along with the bizarre use of ‘class warfare’) to ‘support their cause’ against the ALP and the Greens during the last election?

To assist Julie I’ve consulted the ‘14 Defining Characteristics of Fascism’. It may be a strange coincidence, but the Liberal Party’s policies match over half of the characteristics listed:

• The dismantling of the ABC, SBS and the NBN for the benefit of one mega-rich magnate reeks of a ‘controlled mass media’ – tick!
• The removal of the mining tax, support for fossil fuel subsidies, the signing of the Trans-Pacific Partnership and the creation of a pseudo debt crisis are just a few of the examples of the government’s ‘protection of corporate power’.
• The Commission of Audit, stacked with a wonderful collection of right-wing weirdos, is the greatest example of ‘cronyism’.
• Whipping up hysteria over asylum seekers vividly displays the government’s ‘disdain for human rights’.
• All hail ‘nationalism’ on ANZAC Day as we forget that WWII was actually a fight against fascism as the government indulges in creepy ANZAC Day celebrations, which are not to be outdone by Chris Pyne’s meddling in the national history curriculum, turning myth into fact.
• Increasing the cost of a university education shows nothing but ‘disdain for intellectuals’.
• We don’t want the poor educated as they might rise up against us, so let’s attempt to eliminate trade unions, ‘suppressing labour power’.
• But we’ll give the children of the poor the benefit of school chaplains as ‘religion and government intertwine’. We can’t let those private school kiddies be the only ones benefitting from a Christian education!

I sincerely hope Pearl has clarified the Nazi symbol for Julie. Had the scrawler been me, I would have gone for something more subtle: a photo of Sir Joh or the 1970s neo-nazi ‘The Skull’.

Love your work. Pearl xx