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Show No Mercy

By Pearl Bullivant on February 28, 2018 in Satire

Don doing what he does best, by Rhodo Dendron.

How absolutely revolting are the revelations concerning the behaviour of men like Harvey Weinstein and Don Burke? Ewwww, disgusting and gross. It’s not just the groping; it’s the lewd talk and foul acts performed in front of unsuspecting women. If a man dared unzip his fly in front of Pearl, I’d be swatting his groin with my handbag before ‘it’ even had a chance to escape. Any lewd talk and I’d grab a ruler from my desk and stab the perpetrator in the guts.
But vile men keep their powder dry around the battleaxes of the office, like Pearl. It’s the younger women – the ones these men hold the power over – that they target for shock value, for titillation. No sexual deviant is wanting to get off on watching the reaction of Pearl’s weather-beaten face.
The closest I’ve come to a ‘Me Too’ moment happened in the ‘90s, when a manager attempted to throttle me because I refused to succumb to his charms by questioning his dubious accounting practices. At another workplace, a God-like manager backed me into a corner, accusing me of insubordination over a similar unethical issue. Both men fled their positions once their schemes were uncovered – such is the power of Pearl.
Every young woman needs an advocate like Pearl; a woman who will blow the whistle without fear of job loss and will even physically fight back (I’ve used a ruler on a colleague’s beer gut in the past), a woman who will poke her skinny elbow into a man standing too close on a train or slap down a sleazy groper. It shouldn’t have to come to this, but maybe it has, because as much as I endorse the sentiments of the ‘Me Too’ campaign, I can see it running out of steam.
It seems that every couple of years allegations emerge against male footballers, university students, CEOs and entertainers who have behaved badly. Women will patiently bide their time and speak up when they are no longer at the mercy of these men and their powerful coterie – charges are laid, civil suits claimed, and the media will harness the moment if an attractive woman is involved. But, just like climate change, it will all be forgotten when it no longer suits the media’s agenda, tucked away with the excuse that the behaviour belonged to an earlier era.
We live in an era where sex sells, where no reality TV series is complete without the token topless waitress, and advertisers push an agenda that sees the worth of a woman linked to their attractiveness to men – is it any wonder we haven’t progressed? The media may be embracing the ‘Me Too’ campaign for marketing purposes, but once the balance of power tips towards women it will be deliberately destroyed. So, ladies, maybe it’s time to take Germaine Greer’s advice and experience a neo ‘70s moment: physically fight back! Have that can of mace (or ruler) in the handbag and show no mercy. Or, even better, hire a battle-axe like Pearl.