News Satire People Food Other

Bunnies Escape Tigers And Roosters Suffer Shark Attack

By HeBeGeeBee on May 18, 2011 in Sport

Some major upsets in Round 10 must have caused havoc in tipping comps across the nation but, that being said, the level of football this round was outstanding. The Sharks and Panthers used their home ground advantage to score upset wins over the Roosters and Broncos respectively, while the Raiders managed a major upset over the Storm in Melbourne. Origin is looming and there has been much chatter and debate on the web forums in regard to this year’s team selections. Ricky Stuart must know something we don’t (and we all hope he does), picking five debutants to star in his NSW side and leaving out Jarryd Hayne altogether. Only will time will tell if this NSW side will be competitive against a Maroons side that has dominated the annual series for way too long…


To say the Rabbitohs had this one in the bag by half time is a massive understatement. With four tries, a penalty goal and a field goal all notched up before the break, a 27-point lead was always going to be hard to run down. Nathan Merritt got the scoring underway off a neat little grubber from Chris Sandow, which was followed up by a break up the middle from Isaac Luke and a well placed pass to Rhys Wesser. Two more tries were scored towards the end of the first half by Fetuli Talanoa and Dylan Farrell and an extra point was added through a Sandow field goal to bring the tally to 27-0. The second half started with a rejuvenated Tigers grabbing two quick tries, the first coming from a Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah combination play that saw the hooker get the ball over the line. Matt Utai scored the second and for a moment Bunnies fans would have been on edge. That is, until Sandow slotted over a penalty goal to stretch the lead out to 29-12. Benji Marshall ran in a late-ish try to get the Tigers to 18 points but this game was all Souths from the kick-off.

Next Round – WARRIORS vs. RABBITOHS (22/05 at 4:00pm at Mt Smart Stadium)


When the Sharks play well they are a hard team to crack and this was the case on Sunday afternoon in the Shire. They got off to a good start with Ben Pomeroy bagging the first points of the match and this was followed by warhorse Paul Gallen’s powerful burst from dummy half to get the Shire boys out to an eight-point lead. Kane Linnett stretched out to get the Roosters first points just before the half-time siren and the margin was an unconverted try at the resumption of the second half. It was all fins in the second stanza with two more tries upping the Sharks tally to four tries to one. The first came from Stewart Mills and the second was a Ben Pomeroy intercept special express that sealed the outcome. Todd Carney’s return was not all the Roosters needed to start winning again and it could be a long couple of rounds until he is synced back into the plays.

Next Round – ROOSTERS vs. KNIGHTS (22/05 at 3:00pm at the SFS)


A much-anticipated battle between these two teams produced another Dragons win. The Red Vs controlled the match with precision and frustrated the Bulldogs throughout the first half. Tries to Matt Prior and Matt Cooper saw the Dragons jump out to a 15-point lead before the break with Jamie Soward kicking a penalty goal and also a field goal. The next forty minutes saw a spirited Doggies team attempting to claw their way back into the game with two tries scored by Michael Lett and Trent Hodkinson. Although the score was close with only five points the difference, the Dragons methodical style of play choked the Doggies out of this one.


The Panthers got off on the wrong foot with a kick out on the full but they certainly rectified this error on the scoreboard, belting the Broncos by 23 points. At half-time the scoreboard read 12-10 in favour of the home team and it was anyone’s game. A superb effort from the Mountain Cats in the next forty minutes saw them run away with the game scoring four unanswered tries and capping it with a field goal. A double to Brad Tighe and some strong defence produced an unexpected upset at the foot of the mountains.


The astronomical odds against the Green Machine to win this game would have only favoured the foolhardy gambler but despite this the Raiders still managed to get up and over the Storm in Melbourne. Posting first points through Reece Robinson and following it up with another four-pointer to Josh McCrone, the Raiders were in an unfamiliar position going into the break with the lead. Melbourne got the scores back to even early in the second half through a try to the barnstorming Kevin Proctor and they looked to be back on track. Unfortunately they failed to capitalise on their opportunities. With only 12 minutes remaining Jarrod Croker kicked a penalty goal to get the Raiders a two-point buffer and this was further bolstered minutes later when try-scoring machine Blake Ferguson grabbed the match winner.


Leading by 16 points at one stage the Eels somehow managed to lose this one by a 14-point margin when they allowed a Jonathan Thurston inspired Cowboys back into the game. Leading for the majority of the match, Eels fans would have been impressed for 60 minutes but it all fell apart in the final twenty when they not only allowed the Cowboys back into the game but handed it to them on a silver platter. A flurry of late tries, including two to Jonathan Thurston, brought about a comeback and the eventual flogging of a hapless Parramatta team. Lots of work out west will need to be done to become competitive against this year’s top sides. On a positive note, maybe the newly acquired scrum base of Sandow and Roberts will help them next year because their chances this year look to be shot.


The Knights certainly got off on the right foot with a sideline-flirting Wes Naiqama scooting past some weak Warriors defence and planting the ball down for first points. This was matched 15 minutes later through a try to a flying Manu ‘The Beast’ Vatuvei and the ascendancy swung went back and forth before the Knights went into the break with a slight lead. The second half was 32 minutes gone before the next try was scored and it came after an arm wrestle between the two teams for dominance. The Warriors seized their chances and laid on two late tries and a field goal that saw a competitive Knights outfit staring down the barrel of another loss.


In a bizarre performance by the Titans, who played like a group of people pulled off the street, a lack of teamwork was the missing ingredient. The Sea Eagles were adequate with their plays and grabbed the first points through a pass from the Lyon to the Wolfman. The half-time and final score would indicate this was a close game but the Titans were lucky not to go down by a massive margin. Too many dropped balls and poorly timed passes made them their own worst enemies. They did, however, mount a late comeback but once again the lack of cohesion within the team was blatantly apparent and a loss was always on the cards.