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A Wonderful Christmas Time For All

By Pearl Bullivant on December 19, 2014 in Other

Photo: Attila Szilvasi

Photo: Attila Szilvasi

“Simply having a wonderful Christmas time…” goes the refrain of Paul McCartney’s delightfully annoying ode to all things jolly, an ode that has been following me cheesily down the dairy aisle of Woolworths since November 3. While Elton John’s ‘That’s Why They Call It The Blues’ rarely emanates from the giant monopolist’s muzac system at this time of year (and is sorely missed), it’s refreshing to be reminded that the affluent and educated people of the Eastern Suburbs know how to have a wonderful Christmas time.

the hallowed temple of Our Lady of Rampant Consumerism (a.k.a. Westfield Bondi Junction) to commit acts of benevolence (like buying one’s 10 year-old an iPhone 6) is what Christmas is all about, as is lining up with the Pink Princess for a glamour Santa shot and outdoing every other Yummy Mummy in the fashion stakes.

And it wouldn’t be Christmas in the Eastern Suburbs without 4WDs blocking the roads around the Junction in the same way the wealthy and the important Magi would have blocked the roads to Bethlehem on their pedigree camels back in the day.

At this time of year we must always be mindful of those far less fortunate than our gentrified selves, and unfortunately a “wonderful Christmas time” will not be had by the good burghers of Scots College.

In an act of utter scrooge, the NSW Land and Environment Council has meddled in the democratic rights of “one of Sydney’s most prestigious private schools” by rejecting the institution’s bid to extend its preparatory school due to the “risky and/or illegal conduct” of parents at school drop-off and pick-up times.

What type of Christmas will the affluent parents of newborn baby boys have knowing that their utterly indulged sons will be denied the right to attend Scots College due to the ignorance of one man – Senior Commissioner Tim Moore – who is obviously unaware (much like a maître d’ ignorantly bypassing a ‘somebody’ at a five-star restaurant) of whom he is dealing with?

Not only is he dealing with parents who are extremely important people, he is also dealing with parents who are familiar with “risky and/or illegal conduct” (and substances), and for whom indulging in a game of Russian roulette with their black Range Rover is child’s play in the grand scheme of “dangerous parental activities”.

It’s not only the court that has shattered the Yuletide dreams of many an aspirational parent. Hiding behind the decision is a NIMBY residents’ group with the dubious name ‘Concerned Scots Neighbours’, which has been sneaking around Bellevue Hill with cameras in a vigilante attack on obscenely wealthy Yummy Mummies in 4WDs. Being an Eastern Suburbs residents’ group, surely they should have legitimised their cause with a more appropriate title like ‘The Victoria Road Institute’.

But really, how ‘concerned’ are these neighbours? Surely they understand that ‘kiss and drop’ actually means air-kiss your botoxed ‘frenemy’ and name-drop your celebrity interior designer? And seriously, it’s more likely to be an au pair behind the wheel of the passé Porsche Cayenne anyway, not a Jag driving Yummy Mummy.

So ‘Concerned Scots Neighbours’, I’m calling upon you to demonstrate Christmas spirit and open your hearts and ample driveways to young mothers in huge vehicles, struggling to get their precious cargo to school in time for the 9am yoga class. Remember, it takes a ‘village’ to raise an organically-fed child. Feel the love by allowing the Yummy Mummies (or their au pairs) to park in or across your driveway. And in the ultimate act of sacrifice, why not lend them your disabled parking sticker as well, and sleep soundly knowing that Bellevue Hill mums, too, can have “a wonderful Christmas Time”.

Pearlie xxx