As a vegetarian, Pearl is finding it quite difficult to swallow the veganism trend. Those of us who have shunned meat for ethical, religious or health reasons have always hovered silently in society’s epicurean backgro...

Coogee Beach will push Maroubra and Bondi Beaches off the international surfing map when it hosts the world’s first Sludge Surfing contest. The planet’s best board riders will fight for the title of ‘Sludge Masterâ...

Secret documents leaked exclusively to The Beast reveal that the multi-billion dollar light rail project will actually be a wall to keep ‘Westies’ out of the Eastern Suburbs. A high level government source leaked the...

Innovative ‘Smart Bins’ crushed their hapless human opponents in the grand final of the regional Pub Quiz tournament held on a sparkling day at Bondi Beach recently. The solar powered waste machines recorded the most...

Once upon a time, there was a man named Mr. B. Mr. B liked many things starting with B. Most of all though, he liked spending time with his family. Mr. B likes BUILDING. One time, he built a train. Not a big train, just ...

Hundreds of barefooted locals went without food and drink at A Movable Feast on Bondi Beach recently and recreated a scene that is becoming all too common along the length and breadth of the Eastern Beaches. A Movable Fe...

Vicious and filthy children are set to be excluded from every park and beach in the Eastern Suburbs in a concerted attempt to protect the district’s dogs. Children under the age of 18 will not be permitted to enter any...

Eastern Beaches residents are arming themselves to the teeth in preparation for a mass slaughter of backpackers, who continue to ruin their exclusive waterfront views. Beachfront residents will eradicate the pesky travel...

Jo Morton sat alone in his newly acquired ‘micro-unit’ in Vaucluse on New Year’s Eve while he live-streamed the party-to-end-all-parties to his friends via social media. The young professional squeezed into his mul...

A young Bondi Junction resident was violently apprehended at Sydney Airport recently after it was discovered he had returned from a two-week holiday in Bali without purchasing a single Bintang product. Border security re...